butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
