you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
