I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
