what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
