shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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