I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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