I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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