Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
