Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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