Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
