Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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