Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
