Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
