apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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