the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
