You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
