After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
