Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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