Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
