That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
