You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
