wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
