I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
