I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
