drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
