he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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