Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
