I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
