I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
