Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i think i have herpe
just one?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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