what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
