Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
