went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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