Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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