I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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