I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
