chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
