Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's never too late to be topless.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
