Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
