is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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