now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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