Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
