is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
