I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
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