id be glad to
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
