Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
