they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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