you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
