Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Houston, we have a squirter
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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