margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
