We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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