oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I can text with my tongue
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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