you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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