Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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